It's Ash Wednesday.

I am turning my church woes over to God for 40 days. I am giving up church for Lent to examine my motives on all levels. To rest, truly and look closely at myself and hold God's hand. I feel like I am entering into Lazarus' story.

Tonight, I feel like I am stiff, like I need to be oiled and wrapped in linen and placed in a tomb, in the dark...to wait for the light to come and free me.

It sounds so dismal...and depressing...but it doesn't feel that way. It feels like I am about to have my life restarted fresh. Like, if I just give into this (mindful) rest, I will be called to live again.

God, I trust you with all my heart, mind and soul.