this weekend i...
cried for time.
wept, and celebrated with mothers.
longed for a community of 'me's'.
wondered if i was depressed.
wished the rain would stop, and keep falling all the same.
thought about a boy at the kids' school who's father died unexpectedly.
thought about girls changing before my eyes into young ladies.
thought about a five year old who died from swine flu.
thought about how vulnerable it is to be a mother, if i choose to be vulnerable to love.
thought about creating.
created a gift.
created time.
created thoughts and let poetry swirl in my head.
painted with pastels, until i knew to stop...
acknowledged that i was depressed, and went for my remedy.
played with my children, laughed with my baby.
am choosing to love, as much as possible--
and letting God make the changes...
it is autumn, after all.
so, i will fall into Him for now.