By the water...

Born to the world: November 19, 1997
Dedicated to the Eternal God: Summer, 2002
Birthed into Christ: in daddy's arms, Resurrection Sunday, 2008

Welcome, Noelle.

It's an interesting feeling, mothering. Before I knew better, I swore that she was mine. Before I knew better, I would have dared anyone to try and take her from me. A few years ago, it occurred to me that I belonged to God, and not my parents (or their accomplishments or mistakes)...and as this light was going off, I noticed another flicker...another light...this one was blinking "YOUR KIDS ARE NOT YOURS EITHER."

This is the thought that kept creeping into my heart on this beautiful morning, she never was mine, truly...

The second thought, competing with the first for top rank, was "She chose to love Him. He chose her, and she chose Him back. How truly lovely, and beautiful they are together."

Yes, I am fully AWARE that I will be a complete BASKET CASE the day she walks down the eisle...

Ok, here's the benediction that I wrote for Resurrection Sunday...although it turned out they didn't need one!


the invitation,
extended to you:
the downtrodden, broken & desparing.

COME ONE, COME ALL & TAKE PEACE

the Gate to the Eternal One has opened,
life is flooding down as joy blooms earth into celebration...

for what was confused, is straight
what was refused, belongs
what was still, is on the move
for He who was despised, is Glorified

GLORY BE TO THE ETERNAL ONE!


COME ONE, COME ALL & TAKE PEACE

& while wine awakens your tongue
& as bread transforms from within to life-giving energy
may you accept this invitation
& take your peace of the blessing.




to life!
K

Ok, I don't know what's up with me posting so much lately...I expect it will taper off once again soon. :) We had the strangest day today...

Mark had a car accident, I was delayed everywhere I went, and none of it seemed to bother me (except for some strange chest/bronchial thing I have--I am SO not used to being sick!)...but my remedy is working!

Then we decided to take Gabe out to lunch at a new Italian place near our house that was DELICIOUS!!! Then, Gabe and I took a nap before meeting friends at the Movie Tavern to see Horton Hears a Who (cute flick!) which was fun. I saw some faces I've missed since we've been away.

Then, to top the night off, we came home, and laid in our yard under the stars, talked a while about the moon, listened to our back-door neighbor jamming and singin' along with too many 1980's tunes to mention, and checked out Noelle's new dance moves before noticing there were FIREFLIES in our yard! We were so excited! I guess they'll hang around until the first mosquito spray...we're looking forward to seeing them in Wimberley next week.

It was an interesting twist of a day...I hope yours was too.

:)

Love, Kelly

a poem for Easter Sunday

let it all fall.
moan, weep,
release fear to prayer’s wings
& breathe,
fully honor this movement from loss
to recovery,
& though still soaked of downpour, sing.
sing life into lung
deep into soul’s longing
& stoke passion’s blazing response
to Son’s light, and the miracle
of a body, revived.




this just came to me today as i've been working on some 'voice' stuff. i snapped this amazing sunset photo on the way home from Wimberley, Tx one night.

Praise be to God.

A Blessing, 03.09.08

right here,
right where you are
as possibility thumps a quickened pace in your heart—

bless life.

lives gone, lives present, lives to come

stretch out (a little further even)
&, into the thaw of the Son
May you welcome liberation
& unfold
in freedom.

Amen.

10 things I love about Mark

10. He's the dishmaster. Not only that, he's the fold-meister, the clothes hanger and he remembers to take out the garbage.

9. He plays video games with the kids on their designated video-game days.

8. He gives at least one attempt to fix anything (OR at least flips the switch on and off a few times to legally pronounce if something has moved into the next realm).

7. He always drives when we are all in the car.

6. He always lets me pick. (yes, whatever--he's pretty flex)

5. He makes me laugh when I sing along with a late 80's early 90's big hair band just to make him think I am diggin' it so I can make him listen to it longer. LOL...poor man. He's always a little stunned and doesn't know if I am kidding or not. Pour Some Sugar on Me is my favorite to drag out.

4. He puts the kids to bed every night, and falls asleep with them. He falls so deeply asleep, that when I go to wake him to come downstairs, he's gotten what I now refer to as "Marknesia". This is where you fall asleep so hard that you don't know where you are, who you are, who you're with, or who the heck is poking you to wake you up.

3. He will grab anything from the store for me on the way home...even in the pouring down rain.

2. He acts like the birthday boy whenever I cook his favorite meals.

1. He always tells me, "I'm the luckiest man in the world because you married me." :)

I had a unique opportunity to recite poetry this weekend in honor of my father's journey of healing through art since his motorcycle accident about one and a half years ago, and I was honored and humbled to speak to such an intense and amazing work of the Spirit.

As an added bonus, I was asked to tell the story of how my children came to be named Noelle and Gabriel. Stunned, I was taken by the hand and lead to the front of the room, where I was blessed to honor my children with a story of who they are in my life. Here's what I discovered as I spoke on my children:

I am not sure if I believe that babies pick their names as they are developing within their mothers, or if the name that parents pick develops into the baby as they are growing...the only thing that stumps me is people with the ability to name their baby on the birth day...which makes me lean more towards the idea that babies bring their names down. I picture them squeezing into their birthday suits with their 'soul tags' affixed or sort of tatooed on somewhere. (Ah, a girl can wonder, can't she?)

Noelle is a name that means 'joyous birth', and my experience of her at birth and beyond is truly, true joy. Noelle meets life as a song, she moves and sways with life...she dances across rooms, and leaps and bounces wherever she goes. She lights up rooms, is an encouragement to her friends, her brother and her parents, and she is a reminder that LIFE IS GOOD. It is hard not to laugh with her, harder to see her hurt or to stumble (and for a graceful song she stumbles a lot!). It's hard to remember life before her song started playing, even while pregnant I would sing loudly and dance with her. On the long nights when she would cry I would sing and move with her, trying my best to get her back in a peaceful rhythm. She has been through some really tough times with me, and through it all she's remained positive that LIFE IS GOOD, and she is an absolute treasure from God.

My Gabriel is named after the privileged heavenly messenger sent to announce the arrival of the Liberating King, Jesus. It is only likely, that it is his very nature to bring awareness to this reality here and now. My son lives part of his life in another world. He sings, plays, walks and talks with unseen 'folk' for the greater part of the day, and is first to be fast asleep at night. He is so very dreamy, and I love it. His very nature is an announcement to the world that something exists beyond what we see. His smoosh face hugs and kisses keep this mama warm & soft when I feel like a cold hard stone. His laugh and smile make the world a better place, he is truly angelic to me (though devilishly boyish at times) and I embrace all that he brings.

This next baby? Well, so far, we've been sensing some pretty strong emotional elements with this new baby. Passion. I am still listening to names as they whisper across my cheek, hoping to hear something clearly...it will come, and it will be truly their own.

Sixteen (er, seventeen almost!) weeks.

There’s a baby in there. I met him or her Saturday…and, well…fell in love. It was the most active ultrasound I have ever had! I wonder if it’s because of the timing, I’ve had ultrasounds at 8 weeks, and 20 weeks, but never 16…well, actually according to the ultrasound, I was 4 days ahead which makes the baby 17 weeks along on Tuesday, and yet I am once again (as with Noelle & Gabe) actually surprised to see a little person in there!
For now, we’ve decided not to ask the baby’s gender (but, we’ve reserved the right to change our minds!) and are looking forward to the added surprise at birth (or whenever Noelle changes her mind! ☺) After Mark gets the baby’s first pictures scanned in, I’ll post one! I keep thinking about pasting a belly photo, but I haven’t gotten around to it! I will try this week! Maybe Tuesday to mark the beginning of a new week for the baby.
You should know, that I am riding unbuckled on an emotional roller coaster from hell! A lot of the time, I am just trying to hold it all together and get things done that need to be done, but for the most part I want to let my body fall fractured to the floor. I’ve been overwhelmed. Not just with one thing in particular, but with everything. It seems like my sensitive nature has been amped 110 volts. I feel sort of whacked out and unstable, but in a ‘somethin’ good’s gonna come of this’ sort of way, not the ‘someone’s gonna pay’…although it seems I am payin’. I feel like on the other side of the journey with this new little person inside me (who apparently has the gift of revealing things within people, as well as the gift of reconciling relationships or at least pointing out areas that need reconciling)…on the other side of this journey, I will find myself a more complete woman, stronger and more aware of myself and my part in the world as a woman, wife, mother, teacher and friend. I can see this woman, she smiles at me from across a fast moving stream, I can see she knows what’s ahead, but where she is now is peacefully confident, a little less arrogant and self-centered. A little less afraid to fail, but willing to fail and try again. A little more sure of her gifting, and where to apply it to be most effective.
I am almost as anxious to meet her, as I am to meet my new little blessing…almost.

☺