This is one of those nights where I thumb through volumes of thoughts in a desperate search for the one right way to describe what I am feeling inside...and I wrote a couple of depressing paragraphs this post, that I just chose to delete. Here's what I've decided.

I accept.
I accept.
I accept.

Yes.

Yes to the healing that comes by accepting Jesus. I don't say that in the "let's all accept Jesus in our hearts and grab a pizza" sort of way... I mean it in a "what is in me that needs to leave, so there is more room for the healing miracle He's given me" way. How can I believe more? How can I be more alive. How can I be more full of Love, Grace, and Forgiveness? How can I laugh more, run more (yes, I know I am 8 months pregnant), play more, engage more... How can I honor God in this life He carved for me, my name etched in a tree by streams of blood.

To all He gives I say yes.

And, in spite of my human desire to plague the world with a barrage of depressing content, a long struggle and questions beginning with "Why..." I choose instead to ask "How..." and move within the safety of His wise government.

Yes.
I accept.